Fun with the Fitels

A look into the life of (not-so) newlyweds Danny and Bethany Fitelson.

Friday, November 23, 2007

5th Favorite Movie - Jerry Maguire

Make sure you have read the first post in this series ("My 50 Favorite Movies") before you read on...


Recently, I realized that Forrest Gump is probably the movie that I quote from the most in my daily life. That movie alone added the following words and sayings to my lexicon:
*"Life is like a box of chocolates"
*"Run, Forrest, run!"
*"Stupid is as stupid does"
*"I'm not a smart man, but I know what love is"
*"I was run-ning!"
*"I gotta pee"
*Saying the word 'shrimp' like Bubba
*Pronouncing the name 'Jenny' like Forrest (Jen-naay)

Another movie from the past 15 years that the entire nation is now familiar with - whether they have seen it or not - is Jerry Maguire. From this movie we get "Show me the money" AND "You complete me" AND "You had me at hello" AND "Help me help you". Maybe this is just between me and some of my friends, but I don't think a week goes by in my life without someone referencing one of these four lines. But more than just being a fun movie to quote, Jerry Maguire taught me a lot about myself.

The movie begins with Tom Cruise playing a successful sports agent named Jerry Maguire. He has lots of friends, an attractive fiancee, and a high-paying job. But like Solomon in Ecclesiastes, he is discontented. One of the athletes he represents who is supposed to be a role model gets arrested for indecent behavior. Other clients have become corrupted by the almighty dollar. One night, after being told off by a hockey player's son for attempting to get his injured father back on the ice, Jerry cannot get to sleep. He is disgusted with his lack of concern for his client's long-term health and he is disgusted with the trends he sees around him in the industry. He knows that the problem is not just around him but inside him. So he bares his soul in a 20-page office memo entitled, "The Things We Think But Are Afraid To Say." He talks about how as sports agents they should be more involved in their client's lives... which means less clients... which means less money. Many of his co-workers congratulate him for his courage, but his efforts get him fired.

All that happens in the first five minutes of the movie (see The Apartment). The question for the rest of the movie is: Jerry has talked the talk - now will he walk the walk? Will he live up to everything that he wrote, everything that he believes and stands for... or will he just be another shark in a suit?

In my second year of seminary, I wrote a paper for a class called "The Things We Think About Youth Ministry But Are Afraid To Say." My paper was structured around scenes from Jerry Maguire, and dealt mostly with the concepts of mentoring and accountability. In the movie, Jerry's mentor was a man named Dicky Fox who appears in flashbacks a few times to deliver some gems of wisdom. Here's some of his advice from the movie:

*"If the heart is empty, then the head does not matter."

*In life, I don't have all the answers. I have failed as much as I have suceeded. But I love my wife, and I love my life, and I wish you my kind of success."

*"This business is all about personal relationships."

This last statement sums up Jerry's new strategy in his job. He winds up going from 72 clients to just 1: a football player named Rod Tidwell (Cuba Gooding Jr.). In youth ministry, as in sports agency, it is easy to get caught up in numbers. People always want to know "how big is your youth group?" And sometimes, we think that a bigger group means we are doing a better job. But even if a youth group consisted of just one kid, we need the heart of the shepherd in Matthew 18 who goes looking for that one sheep. Sometimes in youth ministry we only see the multitudes and overlook the individuals. Jesus handled this dichotomy well - he saw both. He found Zacchaeus in a horde of people and the woman who was bleeding amongst the crowd. As youth ministers we can never become too busy, too lofty, or too consumed with the multitudes that we are not available for individual students.

Jerry and Rod become friends and wind up helping one another. Their relationship is a great example of men holding each other accoutable, because they are able to be tough and vulnerable with one another. In one scene, Rod looks Jerry in the eye and asks, "How's your marriage, Jerry?" Ephesians 4:15 says, "But speaking the truth in love we will all grow up into the Head, that is Christ…" In order to grow, we need to speak the truth in love to one another, which occasionaly involves confrontation. But there is a difference between speaking the truth in love, and giving the "brutal truth", as Jerry's fiancee does earlier in the movie.

The movie also addresses something that is difficult for most men: building intimacy. Jerry is known for being a guy who is "great at friendship, terrible at intimacy." He tends to hide himself in his work rather than discover his own feelings or share them with someone else. But his "memo" and meeting Rod Tidwell are breakthroughs for him in this area that wind up changing his life forever.

Some people think of Jerry Maguire as a "chick flick." I believe it is a movie that every man needs to see.

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3 Comments:

Blogger Christy said...

I've enver thought of Jerry Maguire that way. Thanks for what you wrote, Danny. I'm not a minister, but a big part of the ministry God has given me and Aaron is with the youth. This post was a great encouragement.

8:52 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Love the post Fitel! I actually saw Jerry Maguire for the first time this summer, how I had not seen it up that point I have no idea.

Love what you had to say and how you related it to ministry. One of the things that frustrates me the most about the modern church and being in the era of mega churches is that there so easily becomes a focus on numbers and growth and we forget the individuals.

6:15 PM  
Blogger Gerald & Airika said...

I don't know how else to find you, so I'm leaving a comment to ask how far you live from Napa Valley, CA. We're thinking about heading down there in Feb. and might need a place to stay one night.

5:52 PM  

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